Bristol head teacher delighted by dog turds on school yard


A head teacher in Bristol has claimed to be thrilled to arrive at his school and discover that the playground was covered in shit.

It follows his insistence that he found a picture on a school wall of a stick figure pushing a burning tyre with a stick to be ‘inspirational and aspirational’ for his young pupils – after he found out that the mysterious Banksy was behind the mural that is.

Banksy painting at Bristol school

The latest overnight visitor to the school didn’t leave just one present but instead left a series of little packages all over the school yard.

The canine intruder obviously had plenty to eat earlier in the day and was in a generous mood.

While you would expect the head teacher to be horrified he was actually delighted when he found out that the gifts had been left by Matisse, the dog who won Britain’s Got Talent.

The celebrity loving teacher has no plans to sell the poo, saying it is a wonderful opportunity for his pupils to exercise their bodies and minds – particularly their ‘nimbleness and creativity’.

He told Scoop Alley: “It was like a field of landmines only with shit instead of bombs. It will be great to fuel the kids’ imaginations when they are playing in the field. Hopefully dodging in and out of the little presents will help them develop the superb balancing skills of the great Matisse.

“Thank you so much for this Matisse, thank you.”

With Miley Cyrus planning a secret visit with her wrecking ball soon, the head is likely to find even more imaginative ways to be grateful in the near future.

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