Cameron to honour university pig with rare posthumous knighthood


David Cameron attempted to honour a very friendly pig that he knew in his college days with a posthumous knighthood.

The former PM’s resignation honours list caused controversy with critics saying that he has resorted to cronyism.

Alarm bells started to ring when the name of Piggy McOinksalot was put forward for a rare posthumous award.

The pig in question was already both dead and beheaded as far back as the 1980s but it is widely rumoured to have played a major part in kickstarting the upward trajectory of Mr Cameron’s entire career.

Mr Cameron told Scoop Alley: “To hell with what people want to say about cronyism. I love that pig! It opened doors for me back in my Oxford days that eventually allowed me to make it all the way to the top.

“Every food bank that had to be opened in the last six years, every zero-hours contract job, every unnecessary benefits cut, every attack on the NHS, every penny of increased tuition fees, every barrier to social mobility that we created can all be traced back to that very special night with that very special pig.

“It deserves more respect than I showed it back in the 80s, and I think ‘Sir Piggy McOinksalot’ has a lovely ring to it.”

However, the move has not been met with universal approval. A senior Labour source said: “I know I should take this chance to attack the Tories, but I think Jeremy Corbyn needs to resign over this.

“Maybe if he was a member the Piers Gaveston Society in the 80s instead of out on the streets campaigning for people’s rights he could have put a stop to all this before it ever began.”

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