Cristiano Ronaldo to develop plane powered by light that shines from his arse


Cristiano Ronaldo is putting a science team together to develop a plane that can fly around the world using power generated from the light that shines out of his arse.

After conquering Europe at both club and international level, Ronaldo is looking forward to this exciting new challenge.

However, he faces stiff competition from other celebrities such as Kanye West and Simon Cowell.

It is thought to be the space race of the new generation and has been dubbed the ‘butt face race’.

Ronaldo has been inspired by the solar powered plane that flew around the world. He has decided that while Lionel Messi has his tax problems to deal with he needs a new rival.

With no humans worthy of the position, he has decided to take on the sun.

Ronaldo told Scoop Alley: “The sun has always been the most impressive celestial body in our solar system but I am confident that as long as my science team play to my strengths that we can make it yesterday’s news.”

However, he did admit to running into a few snags. He added: “Harnessing all that phenomenal energy is literally a pain in the arse.

“We’re looking into ways of getting Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema and James Rodriguez to do half the work as long as I can get all the credit.”


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