‘Even feigning interest in my sporting excellence will do’ men tells their partners


Men of Britain are trying to let their partners know that even pretending to be interested in their sporting achievements would be a great boost to their ego.

Each week, on heavily sanded astro-turf pitches, nine hole golf courses and plaster-crumbling squash courts, the men of Britain are achieving sporting excellence that is usually found only at the Olympics.

However, many are being robbed of their hero’s welcome by their partners and families, who are apparently “not that bothered” about their loved one’s athletic prowess.

We spoke to one sporting god, 36-year-old painter and decorator Andy Jefferies. He said: “Last night I scored what is quite possibly the greatest goal ever seen on a football pitch, beat three players, chipped it up and volleyed it into the top corner.”

“I got home and expected the missus would be really proud of me and excited to hear about it, but she kept shushing me and said she was trying to watch some police drama.

“I went in a mood cos she wasn’t interested and she went into a mood cos apparently it was the final few minutes of the last episode of a three-parter or something.”

It was a similar story for self-proclaimed ‘King of the Squash Court’, 42-year-old Gavin Kelly. He explained to us that he had fought from two sets down in his latest second division clash in his local leagues.

“I was trailing 2-0 but I never stopped believing, I concentrated on the basics and clawed my way to back to win 3-2 – and my opponent could only have been in his early thirties.

However, when Gavin got home and tried to explain to his wife Mandy that it took great mental strength to keep fighting on the court, she simply replied: “Yeah well done babe” before changing the subject to some sort of discussion about the security light not working.

Other examples of families failing to recognise the achievements of their sporting men include a grandfather who hit his first ever under par nine holes, only for his grandson to show more interest in his Xbox and his daughter too busy to listen “cos she was trying to cook the family dinner”.

An online forum has been created for sporting heroes to congratulate each other on their achievements and get the recognition and praise they deserve.


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