Ancient Roman Gladiators have been a bit pissed off recently following repeated comments made by television presenters comparing modern day sportsmen to them.
Leonardo Maximus from 57BC told us: “Don’t me wrong, I like an epic sporting contest as much as the next man, but to call Rory McIlroy a gladiator, or Novak Djokovic a warrior? I mean it’s just disrespectful.
“I spent seven years as one of the leading gladiators of my day. That’s hundreds of times I went into the ring with a man who was trying to kill me. And I took them all down. I fought in front of millions, in the best amphitheatres in the world. I fought for Emperors Claudius and Nero.
So to hear John Inverdale describe Jordan Spieth is ‘heroic’ cos he holed a twelve foot putt, or Sue Barker call Andy Murray ‘brave’ for playing a drop shot from behind the baseline… are you for real?
“I fought more than a thousand men and was eventually killed when my torso was ripped open by a fucking lion!
“You boys are taking the piss.”