EastEnders fan gets black eye after calling his girlfriend a dopey mare for the 100th time

An EastEnders fan got more than he bargained for when he tried to bring a little of Albert Square’s trademark shenanigans into his own life.

Josh Elliott told Scoop Alley: “I love EastEnders. The acting is brilliant and the realistic dialogue makes it the best thing on TV by a mile.

“I thought I’d try to bring a bit of EastEnders into my own life so the obvious thing to do was to start calling my girlfriend a dopey mare.

EastEnders fan gets a black eye after calling his girlfriend a dopey mare

“At first she was mildly annoyed but before long she became fed up of it and very angry. It was great.”

Unfortunately, things soon spun out of control.

Elliott continued: “She got so annoyed that she had an affair with my oldest childhood friend.

“She became pregnant with his kid and started making plans to leave me. These things happen but I thought it was a bit harsh that she waited until my sister’s wedding day to tell me. Especially as it was in front of my long lost brother who I was meeting for the first time.

He said: “I just laughed and told her ‘you’ve let this escalate a bit far… You dopey mare!’

“She launched into a rage and punched me clean on the eye saying I never take anything seriously. What the hell?

“Dopey mare!”

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