Ronaldo criticises Iceland for not letting him score

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Ronaldo has criticised Iceland for misunderstanding their role in a game in which he was supposed to score a glorious hat trick and emerge as a bronzed hero to his army of adoring but unworthy fans.

Instead of being plucky little losers as per the script, they stifled the godlike superstar and made him look… well, merely human.

Speaking immediately after the game he said: “It was as if they didn’t know it was I they were playing against… the great Ronaldo, their job was to lie down and roll over.

“The fans in the stadium and the billions watching at home only wanted to see one thing; me at my majestic best. And I include the Iceland fans in that.”

Ronaldo refused to shake the hands of the Icelandic players at full time because of their unsporting conduct which included tackling him, blocking his shots and even messing up his hair.

The Iceland players celebrated after the exciting 1-1 draw in what was their first ever game at a major championship. Some hailed it as a magnificent achievement for a country with a population of just 330,000 who have internationals playing for sides like Cardiff and Charlton.

However, Ronaldo is used to being the hero for both Real Madrid and Portugal and he was angered by the Icelandic players’ refusal to follow the script and let him score the winner.

To make matters worse, his one-time protégé Nani had the nerve to step in and do his job for him by scoring the opener – exploding the myth that Portugal are a one man team solely reliant on the great man.

Perhaps Ronaldo would have felt better if he hadn’t put that header from six yards straight at the keeper, or not blasted his free kicks straight into the wall.

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