Millions of kitchens haunted by skeletons of neglected coffee machines


Kitchens throughout Britain are haunted by the deafening silence of expensive coffee machines that have hardly ever been used.

It’s thought most were abandoned within a few days of being delivered. They act as a constant reminder of the deflated dreams of a lifestyle that was just beyond people’s effort threshold.

The money wasted on these trendy but tiresome appliances runs into millions of pounds a year. Nigel and Tanya Morrison said they got one a year ago as an impulse buy.

“I love a strong Americano,” said Nigel, “and Tanya’s partial to a nice mocha so we thought it would be great to have an endless supply from our own machine.

“We imagined leisurely weekends sipping proper coffee, maybe eating croissants, listening to jazz and generally being sophisticated… and to be fair, it was fine for the first few days but then after a while it seemed such a long winded faff for one cup of coffee that we sort of stopped bothering.

“I mean, even after all that messing around it still didn’t taste like Costa or Starbucks…so we just stopped using it. Instant coffee seemed suddenly appealing again.

“It does seem a waste of space sitting there taking up space but we’ll eventually find room for it in a cupboard…just as soon as we can find somewhere to put the toasted sandwich maker that we never use…and those old mobile phones we’ve had for years for no real reason.

“We’ll get round to it…one day. We’ll have to so we can make room for a lovely vegetable spiralizer I’ve got my eye on.”

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