Mums put Boris and Dave on the naughty step until they play nicely


Boris Johnson and David Cameron have been sent to the naughty step by their mums and told they’ve got to play nicely.

Family friends say the two windbags used to be great friends thanks to their privileged backgrounds and a shared love of college initiation ceremonies. Now all they do is call each other names at playgroup.

It’s understood they fell out because they couldn’t agree whether to have a party in Europe or in Britain. Now they’re both trying to bully the other children into joining their gang.

This has led them to make increasingly exaggerated claims to win over the other kids. “My dad’s better than your dad…. he hid away £50m…no, my Dad’s better than your dad, he hid £60m’ ‘…liar, liar…pants of fire.’

Boris’ mother said: “He’s always been too far up his own arse…and he needs a haircut too.”

Davey’s mother she was already upset with him for ignoring the petition she signed about Tory cuts in Oxfordshire. “He just won’t do as he’s told. Well, he can stay on the naughty step until he smartens himself up, does up his tie and sings the national anthem.”

It’s understood Boris and Davey have refused to make up and keep pulling faces at each other when their mums aren’t looking.

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