Football’s hottest young property stunned his club last week when he informed them he would be leaving for one of Europe’s top sides this summer and they could do nothing to stop him.
The teenager, who scored 24 Premier League goals last season, is free to leave after his agent discovered he had misspelt his name on his contract.
The shocking news means his club cannot even demand a transfer fee, as they have never actually owned the star’s contract.
The international striker revealed: “I was never that good at school and always got my b’s, d’s and p’s muddled up. Still, lucky I don’t need brains cos I can run real fast and kick a football well good.
“So it turns out I signed my name wrong when I was 16 and that I’m not legally bound to stay here.
“I want to play in the Champions League. Me and my agent are considering a few different offers. Bortmund, DSG, Real Maprip are all options.
“And since I come with no transfer fee I can demand a s**tload of money in wages and a monster signing on fee. Brrraaapppp!”
The news has stunned football and led to several major clubs go through the contracts of their own prized assets to avoid anything similar happening to them.
Unfortunately for Arsene Wenger, Theo Walcott achieved a B in English and his £80,000 a week contract is considered to be legally watertight.
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