Remain voters fight urge to crash Britain to show they were right all along


Millions of people who voted Remain are now suffering from a new illness known as Brexit Opponent’s Raging Impotence Syndrome, or BORIS, for short.

Symptoms include fits of despondency interspersed with bouts of impotent rage and frustration that the country’s future has been decided by people who hadn’t a clue what they were voting for and thought leaving the EU would stop immigration and provide a new hospital every week.

These swirling emotions cause an inner turmoil in which people know they have to rally round and make the most of it, yet keep finding themselves hoping it all goes wrong just to teach their Brexit countrymen a lesson.

“I know it’s silly but I can’t help myself,” said Sally Millicent, who is typical of the many Remainers struggling to cope with BORIS.

“It started when the Referendum results came in and I felt this sense of shock at the decision to leave. Then there was brain aching effort to work out how this made any sense.

“Then came the stories of people regretting that they’d voted the wrong way because they didn’t understand…then Farage, Johnson and Duncan Smith started reneging on their promises. By then the market was crashing, the pound was falling and I just felt helpless.

“I know I have to make the best of it and I will, but you know what else really pisses me off? When I and millions of other Remainers knuckle down and sort out this mess…the Brexit buffoons will take credit and say: ”See, we told you it would be alright.”

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