American scientists are hoping to speak to David Cameron this month to get advice about putting human organs in pigs.
A team from California hope to grow human organs in animals to help solved the worldwide donor shortage.
They say they heard that the British Prime Minister knows all about putting organs in pigs thanks to his days at the University of Oxford’s exclusive Piers Gaveston Society.
The head of the team in California told Scoop Alley: “We have our critics, but our research could save lives. Putting organs in pigs is complicated but it appears Mr Cameron has some experience in that department so we would love to pick his brains.
“From what we read in the British press, one of his organs grew considerably while in a pig so his, ahem, input could be invaluable.
“To speak to the alumni of such a prestigious institution as Oxford University would surely bring a dignified credibility to our controversial work.”
Meanwhile, there are fears that Oxfordshire prostitutes are planning to sell their own organs in the hope that they will be able to replace them with pig-grown equivalents.
Not only will they make a killing on the black market for their organs but they are keen to tap into the lucrative pig-loving-wealthy-man-child market of Piers Gaveston.
One prostitute told us: “You know the saying – ‘once you’ve had swine, there’s nothing as fine’.”
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