Stephen Hawking making up theories no one understands ‘just for a laugh’


It’s been claimed that Stephen Hawking makes up extravagant theories that no one understands just to have a bit of a laugh.

Prof Hawking is widely regarded as world’s greatest scientist with a brain the size of a planet. The problem is that he’s so far ahead of everyone else that no one is clever enough to understand what he’s saying and therefore unable to verify whether he’s making major breakthroughs or just talking total rubbish.

Dr Peter Manvers, of the Association of Merely Mortal Scientists, said: “We could just about get the idea of the universe starting with a big bang, although we’ve never been able to grasp how someone could squash it into the size of an atom in the first place.

“We began having doubts when Hawking started to talk about big black holes that swallow everything up…I mean, the holes are bound to get full eventually aren’t they? You don’t have to be a scientist to work that one out.

“But we finally lost patience when he started talking about quantum this and relativity that, particles jumping in and out of existence, everything’s made out string…come on, he’s just having a laugh!

When challenged about the claims Hawking was surprisingly frank: “Of course, I’ve been making it up you stupid no brain. I’m sitting here in a wheelchair unable to move…how the f… do you think I know what happened billions of years ago, gazillions of light years away in space?

“The moon could be made out cheese for all I know. Can you change the TV channel…Deal or No Deal is about to start.”

[php] include ‘newsletter.html’; [/php]


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here