Baby Boris goes back to the nursery while grown-ups clean up his mess

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Baby Boris goes back to the nursery while grown-ups clean up his mess

Little Boris Johnson has agreed to go back and play in his nursery after enjoying an exciting few months playing with the grown-ups.

His dad said that he’d had a lovely time but unfortunately he started playing with matches when no one was looking and started a huge fire that has engulfed the country and upset a lot of people.

Stanley said: “He didn’t mean any harm and I don’t think he realises what he’s done. Boris has always been a little rascal and you can’t help but like him with his cheeky chappie smile but he can be a bit of a handful if you’re not careful… we never know what he might do.

“Normally, he’s quite harmless in his bumbling waffling way but this time for some reason he seems to have gone a bit too far so we thought we’d take him out of the firing line.”

It’s understood that Boris’ nursery school teacher, Theresa May, will explain to him that it’s quite naughty to tell fibs about how you can make things better for everyone when really you haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.

She said: “Boris he’s been got to realise that he’s not the Messiah… he’s a very naughty boy.”

After an hour on the naughty step, Boris will be encouraged to go back to the playground where he can play on his zipwire and wave his union flag.

Afterwards, he can amuse himself playing wiff waff or working on his Latin quotations… but on no account must he be allowed near any matches or the country’s future.

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