Is there anything more glorious in this world than the sight of an English footballer throwing himself through the air to head the ball into back of the net?

It’s been a right bloody mixed bag this weekend as the greatest league in the world is back underway.

Last season’s top two lost so at least it’s going to be exciting for the punters – but a scientific thinker such as me hates the unpredictable.

Big Sam's England Diaries

As England’s kingpin, it was great to see so many of my stars open their accounts for the season. Walcott, The Ox, Lallana, Barkley, Defoe, Redmond and Smith all did OK, but the ones who really impressed were Rooney and Chambers – no bullshit, just great headers.

I was delighted that Arsène Wenger chose to start with two English centre halves – could the penny have finally dropped I thought.

Unfortunately they were shit! Couldn’t stop Liverpool scoring four times – even though Danny Ings wasn’t playing!

It was such an exciting game that I dropped my pie when Chambers got Arsenal back in it. I picked it up within the five seconds so it was still good to eat. I’m not going to waste a pie after I had to queue up for for so long and then had to break a note cos I didn’t have enough change – £3.70 – bloody London prices!

It was a fine goal but I was pretty angry with Chambers about my pie – that alone is grounds for keeping him on the bench against Slovakia!

Wenger said that his team lost because they were ‘inexperienced’. Interesting excuse but would an English guy get away with it? I might keep it in my back pocket in case we lose next month.

Elsewhere it looks as through either City or United are going to buy the title – no shit, the amount of money they’ve spent. Mourinho and Guardiola seem to become better managers the more money they get to throw at their teams.

If I was ever given that sort of money I’d win back to back Champions Leagues.

Sadly for Eddie Howe, he wasn’t able to out-tactic Mourinho – further evidence that the FA picked the right man.

I hope Pep can help Stones become the player he can be – I’m sure we have the same vision for his development, great minds think alike after all. Although I was a bit confused to see him playing his full backs in midfield! I asked him about it and he said it enables his team to keep possession for a prolonged amount of time higher up the pitch. He’s got some ideas that Pep has!

Hopefully Jose will breathe new life into Rooney. Like he showed yesterday, if we can just get him heading the ball more we might get a few extra years out of him, the fans will love that.

We’ll see what Chelsea are made of tonight but I can’t see them getting off to a winning start if big Andy Carroll is playing. If the big man can stay fit he could be the greatest player of his generation.

Previous entries

Friday 12 August – Chauffeur driven Bentley with a drinks cabinet and mini-fridge in the back? I’ll have some of that!

Thursday 11 August – Excited as a YTS kid who gets to clean the shit off the club captain’s boots.

Friday 5 August – A pleasing development today as a superstar from yesteryear has declared that he wants to join the good ship Allardyce.

Thursday 4 August – I love Fergie he’s my best friend, we see each other as equals. I call him Fergie, not Sir Alex, and he doesn’t mind.

Wednesday 3 August – I sent the boys in the squad an email today to introduce them to the new boss man. Very clever as it served a dual purpose.

Monday 1 August – It’s been a productive day, giving the old noggin a heavy workout with one of my intellectual pals.

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