Government ministers will enjoy a day of fun and games today as David Cameron said: “F**k it let’s get pissed” on his final day as Prime Minister.
The fallen leader has told his Cabinet that they can each bring in one board game, and that there would be no ‘actual work’ to do today, since none of them have a scrap of respect left for him anyway.
Mr Cameron told us: “Although the country is in disarray and there are several very important decisions to be made, you still have to find time for a bit of fun haven’t you. I might as well let the MPs let their hair down and blow off some steam. None of them have ever done any work anyway so it’s too late to start now.”
Some of the highlights of the day include a game of Monopoly with George Osbourne playing the role of the banker.
Another favourite is Would I Lie To You, with the answer always being yes. Star players include Michael Gove, who’s drafted in Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage as ringers for his team.
They decided against Call My Bluff as Cameron had already lost out big time.
Pin the Tail on the Donkey could create a problem as they might not have enough tails for all the donkeys present.
Elizabeth Truss had hoped for a fun day playing Operation but Jeremy Hunt cut the tweezers from the game leaving her facing an uphill struggle to save the patient.
Other activities include a game of Guess Who between Secretary of State for International Development Justine Greening and Secretary of State for Transport Patrick McLoughlin.
Mr Cameron, who plans to spend the day browsing online for possible pig farms to retire to, can expect an unpleasant end to his political career when he will be locked in the store cupboard by Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Gove.
Meanwhile, Theresa May will refuse to join in any of the festivities, instead preferring to sit alone in the corner with an ‘enjoy it while you can’ glare plastered across her face.