The International Olympic Committee has given the Russians one last final warning over doping and says that if they fail to comply then it will have no alternative but to give them another final warning…and then they’ll be sorry.
The committee shocked and dismayed the world of sport by lifting its ban on Russian athletes competing at the Olympics in Rio despite widespread evidence of state sponsored doping. It said individual sports federations should decide instead.
The move led to accusations that the committee had bottled it in the biggest cop out since David Cameron ran away without triggering article 50.
One furious British athlete said: “These Russians have taken more drugs than Keith Richards…they’re robbing us of our medals.”
A spokesman for the committee denied that it had gone soft on the Russians and had let down the cause of drug free sport. A spokesman said: “Anyone can make a mistake three or four thousand times over a 20 year period so we don’t want to be too harsh.”
“In any case, Russian involvement is crucial to ensure the high standards of the games so that winning a medal has real value…it means you’re so good you can even beat drug cheats.
“And don’t let’s forget that we’d lose a lot of money in sponsorship and TV rights if Russia pulls out…meaning we’d have less to spend on foreign trips and lavish gifts for the committee officials…and the occasional athletics track in Africa.
“But this doesn’t mean we’re going soft…if Russia doesn’t get its house in order, we’ll ban them from some minor event that no one bothers with before lifting the ban in time for the next Olympics. Oh yes, we can be very tough.”