Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn have joined forces to play their favourite new game, called ‘Let’s Say the Opposite’.
The former rivals decided it was necessary to put aside their differences following the recent council elections which showed a swing to Remain parties, and successive opinion polls showing the public are sick of both the Tories and Labour.
The game is very simple. All players have to do is look at the facts and then say the opposite. Here’s an example to get you started: in the real world, a big swing in the council elections to the Remain supporting Liberal Democrats suggests people want to stay in the EU, but what if that doesn’t suit your political purposes?
That’s right! All you have to do is ‘Say the Opposite’. Therefore, the swing to the Liberal Democrats means that voters want May and Corbyn to get on with Brexit and take us out of the EU double quick.
Get the idea? So, now we can all play. The swing to the Greens in the local elections means that voters want Britain to burn more fossil fuels and forget all these scare stories about Climate Change.
Votes for Remain are really votes for Leave
All those opinion polls showing a growing majority for Remain mean there’s a growing majority in favour of leaving.
Opinion polls showing that Jeremy Corbyn is the lowest rated Labour leader for decades mean that voters rate him highly and think he’d make a great Prime Minister.
Opinion polls showing that most voters, including Tories, want May to step down really mean that most voters want her to carry on.
It may take you a little time to get used to the idea but once you get the hang of it, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without it. Try it today. If your boss tells you you’re useless and there’s no chance of a pay rise, tell everyone he’s doubling your wages.
When the person you hoped would be the love of your life says they’re not interested, tell all your friends they’re crazy about you but you’ve decided to dump them.
Remember, life is so much better when you ignore uncomfortable truths and just ‘Say the Opposite’.
A word of caution though, most people will see straight through you so it’s important to develop a brass neck and brazen out your claims, however ridiculous. More about that in another blog.