Politicians and protesters all over Britain have rushed madly into selecting bits of the Chilcot Report that support their long held views about the Iraq War.

So far, reporters have been unable to find anyone whose opinion has changed as a result of the report which, running into 2.6 million words in 12 volumes, has evidence to suit all sides.

The wide ranging findings seem to have been carefully designed to have a go at Tony Blair but not blame him too much…in the end. It blames everyone and no one for what happened, ensuring that anyone can draw any conclusion they want and cling to it forever more.

Everybody claims Chilcot report proves them right

Jonathan Timms, who was an anti-war protester, highlighted the report’s criticisms of Tony Blair. He said: “I know it doesn’t call him a war criminal as such but if you read between the lines it’s clear that he was and that Chilcot really thinks he should be on trial and that he should rot in hell for evermore.”

Tony Blair made a statement saying he welcomed the report and the conclusion that lessons should be learnt. He said: “The report proves what I’ve been saying all along, everything I did was justified and it’s now time for people to stop being so negative about me.”

Military analyst Tom Millcroft said the criticisms of the ‘dodgy dossier’ proved that Britain had gone into war based on a pack of cynically fabricated lies spun by Blair and his team.

However, Blair’s spin doctors insisted that although Chilcot criticised the document, he blamed the military advisers for overstating the certainty about weapons of mass destruction.

Only the families of those who died seemed able to stand above the arguments and show any dignity.

One relative said: “Twelve volumes and 2.6 million words and still people are more interested in defending their positions than facing the truth….the only certainty is that our loved ones will never return, the Iraqi people will continue to suffer, we will never really know the truth and we will never get over our pain.”

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