Couple not speaking after wife rearranged husband’s packing of dishwasher

A couple were enduring a stony silence today after the wife rearranged the way her husband had packed the dishwasher. John Cadogan from Belfast said he just couldn’t understand his wife’s attitude. “Women nag at...

The Secret Diaries of Bumbling Boris Johnson

The engima that is Boris Johnson - one of the great Churchillian parliamentarians of our time? Or a bumbling idiot who shamelessly craves publicity no matter how bad?

Listen up elitist doctors… obesity is the will of the people. Deal with it!

Switched on the telly last night after a hard day’s graft and the first thing comes on is some posh sounding doctor droning on about how people drink too much, eat too much…don’t do...

Our SWIPE of the Week is Mark Francois…Lord forgive him for he knows not what he talks about

Our much-coveted SWIPE award - Stupid Windbag Inside Pompous Ego -is for people in public life who have shown remarkable stupidity, crassness and pomposity over the course of the week. We have to say that...

Man feeling deflated after charity shop doesn’t appreciate his donations

A man was left feeling deflated and neglected after staff at a charity shop failed to show any gratitude for some the much-loved old stuff he donated. Peter Smethers said he’d...

Jacob’s Top Tips for being Rich…no riff raff need apply

People often ask me what they should do to become obscenely rich and I’m ashamed to admit that my immediate reaction is to think, well, if you have to ask you’ll never...

Dear Scoop Alley…I keep waking up screaming with panic attacks

Dear Scoop Alley, I keep waking up screaming with panic attacks...you must help me. It all started a few years ago when my career was going nowhere and I was out in the wilderness. Then...

Don’t let NHS doctors use Project Fear on your health…try Brexit doctors

Have the NHS expert doctors given you advice about your health that you don’t like? Are they making you face up to scary things like heart problems…or piles, or...

Embarrassed by your idiot son? Send him to Eton and get him into government

Are you fortunate enough to have more money than sense? Have you made a pile and are now desperate to hold on to it but worried that your idiot...

Trump rewrites 10 Commandments for his faithful followers

President Trump hasn’t only been getting rid of everything he can think of that was sacred to the Obama presidency. He’s also been busy rewriting the laws of Christianity to bring them...

Migrant and Remain voting nurses to blame for NHS Crisis – exclusive Spun exposé

As lefty liberal whingers bang on about the crisis in the health service, your Soaraway Spun can reveal the real reason for crowded hospitals and patients on trolleys in corridor

Donald Trump has just offered to build me a wall in Ireland…blond boy power

These extracts are from the summer of 2016 at the height of Donald Trump's presidential election campaign. At the time, Trump was polling high for domestic issues in the US but there were concerns...

PC gone mad! Seems you can’t even call Hillary Clinton a sadistic nurse anymore

This extract recounts the time Bumbling Boris caused a storm after likening Hillary Clinton to a sadistic nurse. The US Secretary of State John Kerry helped to smooth things over and give Bumbling a...

My poem about Turkish president and goats sparked a military coup

This extract is taken from mid July 2016, shortly after Bumbling Boris had been appointed UK Foreign Secretary by the new Prime Minister Theresa May. Bumbling had long been known for both his sense...

Oh dear, my spy joke seems to have put British lives at risk

This extract recounts events in July 2016 when Bumbling caused more controversy when it was revealed that he potentially put British lives in danger with an ill-judged joke about a journalist friend. July 22 Seems I...

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