Grandad horrifies grandkids with hardship stories of shiny toilet paper


A grandad has both delighted and horrified his grandchildren by telling them how people had to use shiny toilet paper in the olden days when he was young.

Bill Smithers from Mansfield said he broke the news to them gently so as not to cause undue alarm.

“I explained to them that although this was true, it was in the distant past when I was a boy so they’d know they would never have to suffer such indignity themselves.

Bill says that after his grandkids got over the initial shock, they were fascinated to know about how such paper would perform. “Well, I had to be honest and tell them it was hard and terrible. I explained that it wasn’t very absorbent and things used to slide around a bit… you could be never confident you were completely clean… then I noticed that for some reason they were rolling about laughing and making yuk noises.

“After they’d calmed down a bit, I thought they were ready for an even harsher revelation…that shiny paper was actually a step up from what we’d used before…torn up newspaper.

“They thought this was even more disgusting but I said no…it was an early example of perfect recycling. Newspapers provided us with news, then they wrapped our fish and chips, then they were placed in the lav to give us something to read while on the job… and finally they wiped our bottoms.

“Where do you get that kind of multipurpose recycling these days?

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